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According to this KXLY television news story, a Washington State Patrol trooper shot and killed a 400-pound hog in the Spokane Valley this afternoon.  No, it was a real hog, not just an overweight Hell’s Angel. 

It seems that a woman from Montana had traveled to the Spokane area in her (get this!) minivan to take the hog back to Montana for breeding stock.

The woman pulled her hog-laden minivan into a gasoline station in Spokane Valley when the hog decided to fugitate.  It kicked out the windows (cue the Cops TV show cameraman) and headed straight for freedom.  I suppose if I weighed 400 pounds and was being hauled to Montana in a minivan, I might try to escape, too.

In any event, local authorities were unable to subdue the animal so with the owner’s permission, a Washington State Patrol trooper first cited the animal for no seatbelt and then shot and killed it.  I guess professional courtesy only extends so far.

The KXLY camera person showed the deceased being loaded into the back of the owner’s minivan to be driven back to Montana to who knows what fate.

The KXLY story ends with this line, “Lane [the owner of both the minivan and the hog] said she’s going to keep him and take him back home to Montana.”  “Him?”  Go to the link and view the video.  Early on you will see signs that whoever wrote the KXLY online story may have taken a sick day during biology or animal husbandry classes.

The Washington State Patrol has convened a shooting review committee.  Its hearing will be followed by a ham and eggs breakfast.  The WSP is expected to add a one-hour block of instruction in hog-calling to its training academy in Shelton.   And in an astounding move of leadership and courage, President Obama has ordered National Highway Transportation Safety Administration to require minivan manufacturers to include this warning sticker on all new minivans:  “CAUTION:  This vehicle not suitable for hauling uncaged livestock (unless you’re from Montana).”